Only the magic of post-processing makes this look like food.
A few weeks ago, I picked up a few random summer vegetables from the farm down the road. Among these was something calledpattypan squash, which looked like little yellow UFOs (how darling!) and were rumored to taste just like zucchini.
I visited my online recipe guru on a hunt for zucchini recipes, the closest thing I've encountered to the pattypan squash, finding some instructions for her quick zucchini sauté that seemed simple and fool-proof, requiring only oil, almonds, and julienned zucchini.
I dutifully sliced the pattypan squash, sauteed the almonds in olive oil until they turned golden-brown, and then paused to take in the scene.
It was not a happy scene: an unidentifiable gel was oozing from the squash, resembling the goo that comes off okra or aloe.
The recipe states, "The only two things that matter are that the almonds get brown and toasty in the pan, and that you only cook the zucchini for one minute." ONE MINUTE?! Nuh-uh, sister! Not with that weird goo stuff! I cooked it for at least ten minutes (10:00).
Now, I realize that my "1000% more fire" approach went against the recipe's main tenet, but recipes are meant to be tweaked - especially in in the face of mucky food oozings.
The original recipe also suggested that I could add a sprinkle of parmesan cheese to the dish. Faced with the prospect of this dripping yellow disaster, my version NEEDED cheese. Lots of cheese.
Maybe it was the extreme over-cooking. Maybe it was the pattypan squash. Maybe it was me. Whatever the cause, the dish was not pleasant.
Final verdict: don't eat pattypan squash.
Ever.
