Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Greatest Event in the Universe

Ladies and Dudes, it's the Grilled Cheese Invitational!!!

I happened across this on one of my meanderings originating on TastyFever's blog. I'm just so damned excited. Someone loves grilled cheese sandwiches as much as- nay, much more than I do. SO much more so that he created a festival for the greatest food combination known to man.

"Bread. Butter. Cheese. Victory!" says it more eloquently than I ever could. But what takes this little corner of the U.S. to the next level is the first rule of the Grilled Cheese Invitational:

"1) NO FLAME-THROWERS! Yes, this means you. No ice-melters, Molotov cocktails, you name it. If you bring something that even vaguely resembles a flame-thrower you WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE."

That's a direct quote. What kind of badassery is going on out West? I'm even more excited for my adventure to begin than I was yesterday. So far I've only seen these events occurring in crazy Cali. I'm thinking of introducing this to sleepy Westlake, Ohio.

A quick run-down of the event follows:

"Anyone is welcome to attend this event and judge sammiches. You do not have to compete in order to judge. All judging is done using standardized ballots and a patented, computerized database that scientifically tabulates the results to determine the winners.

"The 1st 6th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational will be mankind's greatest achievement since the invention of fire!" says Tim Walker, the event's founder and organizer. "This year we will have more cheese than ever before. More competitors, more sammiches, more everything!"

Awards are determined by audience vote for each sammich.

Attendees are handed sammiches and rate them accordingly. We then tabulate the results, dispense trophies and wrap ourselves up in the cheese glory!"

For the winners, there will be a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place trophy awarded in each category. There will also be two Spaz awards that will be given to different sammiches that are the biggest Spazes, executive judge awards and mountains of grilled cheese for everybody!

On April 19th, we will part the mighty mountain of fresh-bakedloaves, wade knee-deep in the melted cheese and swim eye-high in the butterfat, but only a few, only the proud, the cheesiest, will earn the sacred right to hold a glimmering, golden trophy aloft for all to see and scream to the malignant heavens above: "I am a f@#king grilled cheese champion™!"

I fervently hope and pray to make it to one of these invitationals within my lifetime.

In the meantime, I'll be practicing my grilling skills.

This excellent information is courtesy of www.grilledcheeseinvitational.com

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